I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
