I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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