Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
