when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
