Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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