In the future we'll all be gay
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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