Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
