Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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