idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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