there was a trapeze. enough said
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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