just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
