mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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