I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
