At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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