if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
