I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
