Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
