Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
