Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
