He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
