Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.

  (818): View more from California

  Punch her baby.

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  (314): There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me. (818): Punch her baby. http://tfl.nu/ve2m
  Replies (59) Good night (6439) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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  (409): Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fjfv
  Replies (12) Good night (915) Bad night (4122)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am

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  (757): if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am http://tfl.nu/cj17
  Replies (24) Good night (4078) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?

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  (727): she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no? http://tfl.nu/lc3u
  Replies (39) Good night (6913) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.

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  (650): Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us. http://tfl.nu/ztab
  Replies (31) Good night (13943) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight

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  (513): stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight http://tfl.nu/lu33
  Replies (9) Good night (5030) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.

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  (845): he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after. http://tfl.nu/w4bv
  Replies (78) Good night (5829) Bad night (2738)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

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  (303): okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it. (785): again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now. http://tfl.nu/6i8m
  Replies (36) Good night (1593) Bad night (7028)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?

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  (412): Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something? http://tfl.nu/z60e
  Replies (2) Good night (2457) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint

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  (415): dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint http://tfl.nu/6bee
  Replies (5) Good night (1168) Bad night (2358)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

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  (361): Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again. http://tfl.nu/uwik
  Replies (4) Good night (1384) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.

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  (724): Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome. http://tfl.nu/u2pl
  Replies (5) Good night (1553) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie

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  (203): I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie http://tfl.nu/otf2
  Replies (7) Good night (1201) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I felt guilty, it was so good!

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.

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  (727): I felt guilty, it was so good! (1-727): Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/6lic
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.

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  (503): He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume. http://tfl.nu/sl1w
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (328)

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