I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
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So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since