Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka? http://tfl.nu/htpr
  Replies (24) Good night (4527) Bad night (1577)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot. http://tfl.nu/9z8d
  Replies (24) Good night (4555) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag. http://tfl.nu/8xve
  Replies (6) Good night (3743) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  she takes plan B like it's going out of style

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): she takes plan B like it's going out of style http://tfl.nu/mrnj
  Replies (27) Good night (952) Bad night (3563)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift http://tfl.nu/rkcx
  Replies (52) Good night (5895) Bad night (1990)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands. http://tfl.nu/q7ak
  Replies (13) Good night (1041) Bad night (2693)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom http://tfl.nu/peqw
  Replies (8) Good night (1330) Bad night (2235)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner. http://tfl.nu/ddr6
  Replies (6) Good night (1804) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today. http://tfl.nu/rdca
  Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now. http://tfl.nu/6kpj
  Replies (17) Good night (728) Bad night (2189)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me http://tfl.nu/sziw
  Replies (5) Good night (1766) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo. http://tfl.nu/jdtj
  Replies (9) Good night (2269) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?! http://tfl.nu/cb95
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u! http://tfl.nu/677z
  Replies (6) Good night (1521) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy. http://tfl.nu/2g6m
  Replies (4) Good night (856) Bad night (330)

Randomize