so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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