He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.