I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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