can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
