Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
