I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize