i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
