it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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