Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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