I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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