Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.