Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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(330): Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight. http://tfl.nu/vmn2

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(804): View more from Virginia

just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos

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(804): just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos http://tfl.nu/9tfl

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(541): View more from Oregon

you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?

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(541): you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me? http://tfl.nu/hd4u

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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(856): I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do http://tfl.nu/mquj

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(805): View more from California

My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes

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(805): My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes http://tfl.nu/ouc0

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(501): View more from Arkansas

This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

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(501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7

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(703): View more from Virginia

the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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(703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa

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(619): View more from California

His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed

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(619): His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed http://tfl.nu/18b0

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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(832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.

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(701): I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/5jp7

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(616): View more from Michigan

I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct

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(616): I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct http://tfl.nu/hig4

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(310): View more from California

He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.

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(310): He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom. http://tfl.nu/v9mc

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(716): View more from New York

I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.

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(716): I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king. http://tfl.nu/29xr

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(516): View more from New York

Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time

(917): View more from New York City

An adult?

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(516): Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time (917): An adult? http://tfl.nu/ka62

Replies (3) Good night (1174) Bad night (195)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

He can pick locks you know

(919): View more from North Carolina

That's the reason for the naked stripper

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(919): Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out (1-919): He can pick locks you know (919): That's the reason for the naked stripper http://tfl.nu/wpbv

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