he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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