Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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