A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
