I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
