Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
