oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
