Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just blew my weed a kiss
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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