I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
