He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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