I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
