i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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