i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He? As in you personified your dick?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
