Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
