There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
