does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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