eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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