Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
