Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize