I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
