Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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