so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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