He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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