Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think my moral compass just broke
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
