How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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