I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
