His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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